From MSM to President Bush

While I have no authorization to do so, I thought I'd take a shot at writing an open letter to President Bush from the Mainstream Media, representing what it appears to me (as a media consumer) they have to say to him:

Dear President Bush,

You can not win with us. Our purpose is to make you look as bad as possible, as often as possible. We hate you. We can't put our finger on WHY, exactly. Perhaps it's because you keep proving us wrong and we can't stand that. It's not really because of the "stolen election" in 2000, because the truth is that when people went in there and did the counting every-which-way-from-Sunday, you won. But, you see, it's not what we wanted or what we predicted! We were wrong, and we hate that! We get you back for that one though! We let people proclaim that you were "appointed" not elected, or claim that you stole the election all day long and never bring up the fact that the counts done after the election result in you winning, and that no disenfranchisement was ever proven. Get it? We've hated you from the start.

Just so you know, it does not matter to us that fanatical Islamists want to kill innocent people in the U.S., we'll always give them the benefit of the doubt, and never will give it to you or to any aspect of your administration--including the military of which you are Commander in Chief. We will make a big deal out of Abu Graib, but won't report on the thousands of soldiers who reach out with their hearts to the Iraqi people (like the soldiers that provided 800 pairs of shoes to Iraqi kids when they noticed the kids didn't have shoes that fit). We will make your administration look as bad as possible to the Arab world, even if it hurts the country.

On that note, we will NEVER EVER acknowledge the fact that it is increasingly clear that you were absolutely right (see, there you go again, being right when we were all wrong... unforgivable BASTARD!!!) about spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East and how that'll transform the region. We can't talk about all of the positive changes in Afghanistan since the fall of the Taliban. We'll make darned sure we keep hope alive for the terrorists there, though. (How brilliant was the undermining of your administration with that flushing the Koran at Gitmo story?) We'll keep giving the body count in Iraq, but won't ever talk about the positive things that have happened there, and how the people are taking to democracy. We'll talk about "insurgents" like they're a political movement, rather than just bastards that want to kill enough people to scare the survivors into becoming willing to give them absolute power. We won't mention how much farther ahead the Iraqis are now in terms of their infrastructure than they were under Saddam, and we certainly won't report on how much farther ahead they'd be if they weren't being undermined by the "insurgents".

We won't acknowledge that Arabs are starting to see that it is other Arabs that are holding them down, and that it is the Americans who are in there trying to help them have freedom and democracy. Yes... we know it's happening. But what we'll do is foment hatred, or make it look like the majority hates us...er... YOU. We can't let you be right about this one. No way.

We are also going to make it look like liberal thinking is mainstream thinking. We know that that was just disproven by an election (yeah... we saw how red even the blue states were when you look at the map county by county, not just state by state). Our plan is to make "conservatives" look like extremists... preferably mind-numbed religious zealots who can't REALLY think for themselves. Look how well we're doing with your judicial nominees! We parrot the democrat's talking points like they're the truth! People actually think your own guy (Gonzales) was calling Priscilla Owens an activist judge. We let that out-of-context quote fly from people's mouths unquestioned for weeks! You'd think we'd do a story about a judge's qualifications, their recommendations from different professional organizations, etc. No way! And let people find out that you actually nominated qualified judges and not radical reactionary conservatives?

Well... I could go on and on. The bottom line is, as I said, you can't win, buddy! It doesn't matter what you do. It could be because you keep proving us wrong... but if you say that to anyone, we'll deny it. See... we'll be trying to shape the reality in everyone's minds so that you look like you're wrong anyway. Yes... even when you being RIGHT is what's good for the country.

Disrespectfully submitted,

MSM